Divorce doesn’t have to happen after a major event, like an affair. You don’t need to find out that your spouse wasn’t being faithful to decide that the two of you shouldn’t be together anymore. In a lot of cases, it just happens because two people drift apart over time.
After all, think about how relationships come and go prior to marriage. What was your longest relationship before you tied the knot? By comparison, being married for 10 or 20 years could be vastly longer, and it’s natural that you would change somewhat over time. But how do you know if this is happening?
You spend more time with other people
One clue can be if each of you begins spending more time with other people. Maybe you start staying later at the office. Maybe your spouse starts going to hang out with friends instead of staying home in the evenings.
You don’t have anything to talk about
Another red flag can be if you feel like you don’t have anything to talk to each other about. Besides making small talk about how work went that day or what you want to have for dinner, you feel you have nothing to say. It could just be that the two of you have lost that spark.
You’re different people
One thing to remember is that the two of you can become very different people. You’ve been married for a long time and both of you have changed. Some couples will change in ways that are compatible or they will simply learn to make things work. But others will change in ways that alter the relationship and make them think they never would’ve gotten married in the first place if they had been the same versions of themselves when they were dating.
If you do feel like you’re drifting apart and divorce may be on the horizon, it can be a good idea to start looking into your legal options in advance.